In Heaven is Paradise; On Earth, Suzhou and Hangzhou . . . That’s an expression in China, so Allison and I decided to check out these alleged sites of earthly paradise. Both are pretty close to Shanghai, so we tried to see them both over a weekend. This was semi-crazy, given the vicissitudes of Chinese train travel, but we got away with it -- despite our minimal (to put it gently) knowledge of Putonghua (Mandarin).

Because we live in Hong Kong, we’ve been trying to learn Gwongdonghua (Cantonese). Then when we go to the Mainland -- well, it's a bit like studying a little Hungarian, and then trying to travel in France. Our Gwongdonghua is not terrific, but it’s stellar compared to our lame Putonghua – in Putonghua I can count to three, and I know the words for “hello,” “please,” “thank you,” “ water,” and the all-important “don’t need!” It’s a bit limited, but I’m very good with grunting and gestures, and my wife has a great smile . . .

Suzhou
Suzhou is famous for its gardens: we first visited the Wangshi Yuan (Master of Nets Garden). I have a very funny “Master of Nets” joke that I made Allison listen to – ask me some time, and maybe I can tell you – or, if you’re lucky enough to know Patrick Costigan, ask him. He stole it from me and does a very good version. Anyway, Wangshi is famous for its use of space. It’s pretty small, but it doesn’t seem like it.

We then went to Beisi Ta Pagoda, originally built in the 3rd century AD. It’s been reconstructed several times over the years, but hey, I think a lot of us would have to admit to that. The pagoda, at 76 meters, is the tallest in China south of the Yangtze. We climbed it for a terrific view of Suzhou, and also spent some time at a peaceful teahouse listening to the crickets jam, live in concert, sans Buddy Holly.

Next stop was a silk museum, which was really more of a silk factory with a shop at the end. Nonetheless it was actually cool to see how silk is made, and there’s a great fashion show at the end, urging you to buy, featuring a silk-centric catwalk. Silk was, of course, invented in China (along with everything else, from pasta to gunpowder). The first Westerners to see it, reportedly, were Roman legions fighting against Mongols in Turkistan. The Romans freaked out at the sight of the silk banners in the wind, resulting in a major thrashing, something like an early Yao Ming vs. Vinny del Negro situation. You can look it up.

We next headed to a place with the wonderful name of “The Humble Administrator’s Garden” (I hope you’re reading this, Ron Berggren). Covering about 52, 000 sq. meters (about 13 acres), it’s the largest and most famous of Suzhou’s gardens, and a World Cultural Heritage site. There are beautiful pools of lotus set amidst small forest areas and rock formations, and I can tell you that it’s definitely big enough to get lost in. Ahem.

In Between
Pressed for time at the train station, we attempted to eat at the ubiquitous KFC (there’s a new one in China opening every other day). This was the first time we had ever sunk this low, and it was a pretty serious judgment error -- we discovered that in China they are really big on cartilage nuggets. I can’t ask you to understand, I can only ask you to imagine. We would have been much better off with the squid-on-a-stick guy with a cart outside.

Back in the main hall of the train station, we discovered that our luggage was stuck in a jammed locker. With our train due to depart soon, the friendly attendant tried to help us open it, and we soon drew a crowd of maybe 30 or 40 people, many of whom offered us their advice (in Chinese of course) on how to jimmy it. After half an hour and four more train station personnel, the locker opened and we hurried to join the horde pressing for the train. It was like a Who concert in Cincinnati – sweaty, jostled, with squished toes, we eventually made it to our seats, only to find out that we (along with everyone else) had reserved seats. What was all that pushing for?

We were very cozy on our little bench, and watched some spectacular scenery fly by outside the window on the way to Hangzhou. We were also mesmerized by listening to the audio-book version of China Road: A Journey into the Future of a Rising Power, by Rob Gifford. A BBC correspondent in Beijing, Gifford took the Silk Road prior to leaving the country, and his book is an excellent travelogue that also deals with modern China, and sketches in a fair amount of historical background. We really recommend it for anyone interested in China – a must-read (or listen).

Hangzhou
Hangzhou is idyllic – we’ve been to Beijing, Shanghai, Xian, Hong Kong, Shenzhen, and points in between, and this is easily the prettiest city we’ve seen in China, probably the loveliest place period. We spent most of a day riding around it on bicycles, finding the gorgeous lakeside park that made us understand why the Chinese think of Hangzhou as an earthly paradise. The sweeping lotus pools are incredible. We also visited a winery that is the house we’ll build if we ever get to build a house. We cycled past dripping willows, all sorts of flowers and trees, beautiful temples, and we rode over causeways that cross the lake. One highlight was the Leifing Pagoda – very unusual for a Chinese pagoda, it has an escalator to get up to it, a glass elevator inside, and amazingly, it’s air-conditioned! We appreciated that on this 100+ degree-day, even if it’s maybe a touch more secular than an average pagoda.

Somewhere before we got to “Orioles Singing in the Willows” Park, the police put up signs that prohibited bike riding in certain areas, but it was hard for us to tell exactly where. The result was that cops would rush up to us like little barking terriers – we tried to convey to them that we wanted to just walk the bikes, but they were having none of it. Finally, Allison decided to tell off one of the cops, and told him (after ascertaining that he couldn’t understand a word she was saying) that his rule was “the stupidest rule she ever heard of in her entire life!” They then both cracked up laughing. There’s a lot to be said for being incomprehensible, and also for being a really cute redhead.

Despite the confusing bike rules, Hangzhou is magnificent, and if you’re anywhere near it (i.e. if you’re in Shanghai), by all means, get there.