This Christmas we headed to Hanoi and Ha Long Bay, to check out some of northern Viet Nam. After visiting Ho Chi Minh City and the Mekong Delta in the South this past summer, we knew Viet Nam was beautiful, and we wanted to see more of it. We traveled with our friends from SF, Marija and Louise, who were in Asia celebrating the first anniversary of Marija’s 39th birthday.

Hanoi, those of you who follow America’s wars will recall, was once the capital of our arch-enemy, North Viet Nam. It’s been around for 4,000 years or so (it’s even older than Baghdad – we sure can pick ’em, huh?), and it’s been the capital for most of that time. Modern Hanoi, home to roughly 3 million people, is a bustling and strikingly lovely city. The French colonial influence is still clear in the architecture, the café culture, the pastries, and even many of the street signs; we stayed next to the Hanoi Opera House, which would have been at home in the 9th Arrondissement of Paris. We spent most of our time exploring the Old Quarter, the French Quarter, and the area around Hoan Kiem Lake (the traditional heart of Hanoi). I tried to get Allison to go to Ho Chi Minh’s Mausoleum with me, but she didn’t want to see his waxy old taxidermied body, so I had to settle for the shellacked giant tortoise at the lake.

A popular stop for dinner is Cha Ca La Vong (video), where Allison, Louise and Marija enjoyed the only dish on the menu, fried fish cooked at your table. I’m not in this video because I spent that night back at the hotel room, “indisposed.” Free travel tip: When the Viet Nam Airlines flight attendant asks you what you want for dinner, just say “Coca-Cola, please!” Except for that one bad airline meal, though, all the Vietnamese food we had was spectacular.

I recovered quickly, so I was able to visit the Thang Long Water Puppet Theatre (video). This was a major highlight for me in Hanoi – I’m a sucker for puppets, and in WATER? Sign me up! If you don’t know about it, mui roi nuoc (literally “puppets that dance on water”) is a unique Vietnamese art form that depicts legends and scenes from rural life in a giant onstage pool designed to resemble the banks of the Red River. The performers, also in the water, are concealed behind screens, and they work the puppets on long poles. It’s extremely cool to see, seriously; I’m a Thang Long fan. And, I’m now the proud owner of two water puppets; if you’re good, I might let you see them.

We also took a day trip up the real Red River Delta, to a Buddhist shrine called the Perfume Pagoda. This is one of the most sacred spots in the country, but no road goes all the way to it – instead, you travel the last few kilometers by canoe, rowed by women who are all about 4’ 10”, maybe 90 pounds, and who could no doubt beat the tar clean out of me in a fair fight. I tried rowing, and I got maybe 17 feet before I got blisters and started crying.

We walked up the steps to the Pagoda, then rode a cable car to the spectacular grotto shrine, a large cave (50 meters high) where monks journey daily on foot to meditate. There are three small images of Buddha inside with trippy, psychedelic electric lights behind them, which look like something that would be used to hypnotize a cartoon character – possibly Fred Flintstone. The rest of the cave, though, has a genuinely spiritual energy.


Ha Long has this been goin' on?
Our next stop was a two-day visit, on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, to Ha Long Bay – a scenic inlet of the Gulf of Tonkin dotted with 1,969 islands of varying sizes and sometimes bizarre shapes, made by natural limestone formations. We sailed on a nice old junk (it’s a small ship, not a piece of junk)called the Santa Maria and drifted among the islands, playing that game you play with clouds – “doesn’t that one look like a schnauzer carrying an umbrella?”

On Christmas Eve we visited the eerie, lovely Hang Sung Sot Cave (actually three interconnected, echoing caves) with strange stalactite and stalagmite formations.


That night the crew threw a party for us, with a yummy dinner. At one point they turned off all the lights without warning and we were plunged into pitch-black darkness. For about four seconds we thought the junk was about to be boarded by pirates, but then the kitchen crew came in with flaming, hollowed-out pineapples with spring rolls sticking out of them; I think there was a recipe for that in Good Housekeeping in roughly 1967. After the dinner, the crew turned on the obligatory karaoke machine, and Allison, Marija, and Louise cruelly forced me to perform “I’m Too Sexy” (scary video). I had wanted to do something tasteful, maybe some Sondheim…

On Christmas morning we all got into kayaks to explore the bay on our own for a bit. We asked where to go, and the guide said, “anywhere.” So, Allison and I headed off to some cool-looking islands, and didn’t hear the crew yelling at us to turn around. We were apparently on our way into the heavy current of the shipping lanes, the open sea, and next stop Japan. Fortunately, we got it turned around, but yikes… after that, we stayed near the little water village, then climbed back aboard the Santa Maria. No sign of the Nina or the Pinta…

For some strange reason the crew loved me (it must have been the karaoke), and they invited me (video) to eat partially developed duck embryos and do shots with them. Allison and I now have a new Christmas morning family tradition that we hope will endure for years to come.

Back in Hanoi we had an amazing dinner at a French-Vietnamese fusion restaurant called Green Tangerine – two great cuisines that taste great together. After a little shopping on the 26th, we flew back home to Hong Kong, where we’ve just celebrated New Years’ 2008. Weren’t we all supposed to have flying cars by now?

I hope this finds you all well – we send you best wishes for a terrific 2008, and we hope to see you, or at least hear from you, soon. This is your intrepid Hong Kong correspondent, signing off.